The New Breed of Ugg-ly Chav

How things have changed in Manchester in the two years since I was last here! Gone are the mandatory ‘Chav’ girl outfits I recall seeing in their droves sashaying along Market Street every Saturday. No more are the fake Burberry bags and micro skirts in evidence and the gaudy gold hoops from the discount jewelers and the hair in buns so tight the wearer could barely blink have disappeared! In their place a new uniform has evolved and one item in particular seems to be firmly established as the key to this new look.

“Uggs”, or look a likes, seem to have taken over the city and I am still not even sure what they are. Is it a slipper? Is it a boot? Is it the favoured footwear of the wife of Bigfoot? I’d really like to know who first thought these boots would be suitably worn away from the outback or the Rocky Mountains?

The new, Manchester chav girl is a genetically modified creation using a combination of cells from the four more attractive members of Girls Aloud. Coleen McLoughlin and Sienna Miller (circa 2005) seem to have taken this trend into their hearts and made it their own. With cheap variations on the original sand coloured offerings now available from supermarkets and high street accessory emporiums in every conceivable colour, but seemingly favored in pink and brown, the boot is now firmly entrenched in chav culture.

‘But I own a pair and I’m not a Chav’, I hear you cry. If your hair extensions are finely preened and glue free, you’ve broken out the discount gold and your juicy velour or your stonewashed jeans are tucked into your well trodden, shapeless wannabe Uggs, then you, my dear are the new breed of chav.

Along with their appalling fancy dress appearance, I am reliably informed that the offending Uggs are too hot to wear socks inside and therefore emit foul odors from feet made sweaty through long hours of trooping the pavements even on the balmiest of days. Usually the prized possessions are worn to the point of disintegration by said chavettes, ensuring that very soon they offer little support to the foot weary wearers, so are not even good for the feet as some proclaim.

So, isn’t it time that this unstylish and inelegant trend just died and went way and the offending items were buried as with other small furry creatures that depart this earth once they have seen out their days? If anybody is in any doubt about this then I leave you with a quote from Vanessa Williams in the TV series, ‘Ugly Betty’.

“She’s as out as Ugg Boots!” RIP UGGs!!

This entry was posted on Friday, April 18th, 2008 at 7:55 pm and is filed under Fashion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.